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Hideki Naganuma -- Jet Set Medley (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)

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I remember having so much fun with this game, many many years ago. I had placed it way up here on this list, without a second thought. Jet Set Radio (Or Jet Grind Radio as you yanks call it) stayed with me for many years in the form of it’s soundtrack in my iTunes library. But when it came to writing about the game, I honestly couldn’t recall much of it. So I’ve gotten myself a copy of the game, running on an actual old school Dreamcast right here, and playing the game, something’s suddenly become clear.

Jet Set Radio is video game smack. I fucking swear. Despite it’s flaws you just want to keep playing. It’s addictive, for all the right, and wrong reasons.

AKA Jet Set Radio DS

You’re pulled in from the start, by its sharp, radical graphics. You’re sucked in by it’s hip punchy music that put many electronic artists of the time to shame. But you start playing, and the game plays in the oddest way. Jumping in this game makes Sackboy feel heavy, the camera tilts upwards as you slowly float towards the floor. I swear, when you’re falling from high buildings, its like watching the moon landing. Not only that, but as you attempt to control your character in mid-air, he steers like a car, rather than a platformer character. So as soon as you get a ‘showdown’ challenge from a rival, you can forget landing on specific rails and small platforms. If you’re an inch off, you’ll drift past like a feather.

But playing this game again, I asked myself, why am I putting up with this, and the simple answer is that the game is just so god damn cool. I’m all too willing to put up with these strange mechanics, just so I can keep on hearing that sweet, sweet Hideki Naganuma. Heck, I even got myself Jet Set Radio Future, simply because of the first game.

I swear, when SEGA came to making this game… cool came first, and design came second.

Find Jet Set Radio on eBay

Jet Set Radio (C) SEGA

Music from Braid by Sieber, Kammen, Fulton and Schatz

You, now.

You’re in a familiar world, full of green hills, floating girders, pirahnas leaping out of pipes with a thoughtless snap and small creatures with no care in the world walking to and fro. You run, you bounce on enemies, who fall below you, beyond the deepest pits you can see. There is a princess to be rescued and there is little time to lose..

But then you look around more closely. The world around you is melting. Its neither solid nor liquid, like a dream. The creature flies from the ground, you run backwards, bounce on him again and he is brought back to life. His face is still, as if nothing had happened.

Confused, you run forwards. Enemies hurry towards you. You stop in your tracks, as do they, the world turning silent. Like a photograph, familiar yet dead.

You ain’t in mushroom kingdom, you’re in MUTHA FUCKING BRAAAAAAAAAID!

.won ,uoY

Although “Time Slip” which I covered earlier is much more brutal with its exploration of space and time, its ultimatly Braid’s solid production that’s made me place this above, although being one of the few people who knew about “Time Slip”, it was frustrating to say the least when Braid received critical acclaim for innovation for a game addressing space and time. That aside, Braid is still a brilliant brilliant game.

At its core, Braid is Super Mario meets Requiem for a Dream. Everything else is a profound exploration of space and time. But its mostly grim and emo. The games melting watercolour artwork and soothing music (Play at the top of the page if you haven’t already) are the major contributors to the mood. You’re transported into this surreal alternate world.

Dont lie. You were thinking the RIGHT throughout the game.

There is a much deeper meaning to the game intended, which has been discussed and analyzed to death by its core fans. The most popular theory though suggests that Tim is a scientist who was once deeply involved with the development of the Atomic Bomb, and Braid is his self-exporations into the depths of his mind..

UGH FORGET THAT, ITS ABOUT THIS LITTLE DUDE IN A SUIT

Purchase Braid from Xbox Live Marketplace, Playstation Network or Steam

Braid (C) Number None Inc.

What does your head do Rayman? Exactly, fuck you.

North Town Theme (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)

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Oh lord, its been WAY too long since I’ve posted one of these lil’ articles here. For a while I was considering taking it over to Tumblr, but it doesn’t quite satisfy my needs. I’ve had no real enthusiasm to continue this series for some reason, but I cant wait to share a couple of my thoughts with some games later on..

So I cant sit here forever, I’ve got to wrap this series up.. perhaps if I just continue typing like this, something will come out. Right now, I have no idea what to write about this game, all I can remember is it was my absolute favorite game in primary school.

The game was banned in the USA for its extensive use of subliminal advertising. Sponsored by TARGET, TARGET, TARGET.

If the amount of imagination pumped into this game were equivalent to milk poured in cereal, then your entire mother fucking house would be flooded. From the get-go, you’re treated to an incredibly rich cutscene, thrown into an action packed chase, then as you play, you find something is always happening and changing. I had not seen this level of detail and creativity in a game up until this point.

All this before you even discovered the many power-up heads at your disposal. My favourite was probably the vacuum head, which allowed you to clear entire screens of enemies with ease. As you’d continue the game though, you’d very soon rely on your head to navigate around the level. Throwing your oddly decapticated skull around, you’d shove HUGE BALLS into your mouth then get thrown off the ground. It was like a dynamic itteration of Bionic Commando for kids, but more gay.

Miss Dynamite earnt her nick-name by giving her producers lots of head.. and gaining secret bonus points.

Alas however, the game taunted me with its ruthless difficulty. With power ups and a gripping system that gave you immensely enjoyable dynamic momentum, you couldn’t help but dick about in this colorful world of puppets. Thus usually, I’d be dead just after the nutcracker… giant robot dog… thing..

I was 9 at the time though! During university however, in a spell of nostalgia, I dedicated myself to completing the entire game. After grinding hard for almost an hour, collecting as many SECRET BONUS POINTS as possible, I was ruthlessly defeated late into the game. I was 21, and I still couldn’t beat this son of a bitch game.

This is probably why I’ve put off this god damn review until now. This game exists just to taunt me. I’ll never be able to conquer the cat, robot, thing with the awesome music, and shit.

You know what, I dont fucking care anymore. Dynamite Headdy is totally gay anyway.

Play Dynamite Headdy on “Mega Drive Collection” for Xbox 360 or PS3

Dynamite Headdy (C) SEGA

This article was originally written in July 2010